Insomnia ???

I'm really tired but I just can't sleep,
closing my eyes listening to my heart beat,
crickets are loud covering my ears,
my feet are getting cold so I look for my sheets.

The room is so dark wondering if the sun has already rise,
but I look at the clock (4am) and say its too early to go outside,
everyone's at rest dreaming about things,
while I lay in my bed staring at nothing.

Hugging my pillow thinking of you,
then I toss it at the corner because it makes me more blue,
counting the memories we had in my mind,
remembering the best ones and I keep those inside.

Pondering about if it's worth to live,
then I remember that my family is over here.
I'm about to let go and cry again,
but too weak to even do it so I'll just stay awake instead.

Turning around finding my spot,
feels like space is too small throwing it all out,
constantly lookin' at my phone checking the time,
after hours of idling at last I rested my eyes.


*But I don't think that this is what they call insomnia (cause I have this friend who has one and he literally didn't slept for days, I on the other hand slept at 6am that day). I just thought that writing this poem will make my 'insomnia night' more productive. I know someone out there experiences worse problems than I do, but I just don't know 'how' to handle having this things. Maybe I just wanted someone to talk to even late at night (yeah damn it, I was also thinking of him). But in the end I was able to sleep soo, everything is still 'alright'.