NO: I'm not fine

I prefer to shut up even if all I wanted is to shout,

Sometimes things are better not to let it out,

I'm hurt but I yearn for everyone to see me happy,

It’s cliché to say but yes inside I'm dying.

Hoping is overrated; also love and forever,

Though it’s not too bad to expect for things to get better,

Memories are supposed to be kept and cherish,

But its hard if all those times will bring back the ache just by reminiscing.

Anger and sadness are often satisfying,

But I promise myself this will all me momentarily,

Things are bound to happen mostly good and occasionally bad,

Yet that makes life an adventure you never know what will make you WRECKED </3

Everything makes me remember the things we use to do,

But I'm still in the stage of not ready to lose the little things that reminds me of you,

Friendship was never a solution for this problem and I'm not sure there even is,

I just want to forget for a second this pain I feel.

Thinking that of all the people why do you have to choose me,

I'm a happy-go-lucky person but you make me question MY IDENTITY

Trying to understand,

trying to accept

Failing to comprehend,

feeling depressed.

Maybe 3 weeks isn’t enough, to call this something to fight for,

But my 3 days with you is one of the best memories that I want to go through.

I except too much in return I got hurt so badly,

Hard to make things as the way I planned at the beginning.

Playing sad songs that now I can relate too perfectly,

Crying through my pillow to prevent people from listening.

Photos reminds me how happy we used to be

Now I'm looking at it asking what’s wrong with me,

You made me strong, happy, blessed and lucky

At the same time down, broken, weak, and gloomy.

Things are over but for me still it’s not,

Waiting for you to text me hoping you’ll be back,

Your silence is killing me torturing me inside,

I want to know if you still think about me and remember that you once call me “MINE”

But after those it’ll all be in the past,

A bad memory that’ll make me laugh,

I'm just really thankful that I have my friends,

That help me get through this hell of a weekend.

*Wrote this poem for you, I hope that someday you'd be able to read this. Sorry for not telling you what I really feel, It's just hard for me to conceptualize the words to say 'that night' when we we're talking about us. My only regret was not able to say 'I love you', it seems too early to say it, but that's what I feel (or felt). Hope this won't ruin our friendship (nevertheless turn this friendship into something more *again). You've changed my life, don't worry cause it's a good thing. I still don't want this to end (or do I, IDK), I want to talk to you again, and this time I will promise you that I will tell you everything now. Please come back and talk things out...