For the time being.

Tired, hurt, lost and depressed.

Preventing myself from being happy even for a minute,

Setting my emotions aside is a bad decision,

Yet i continue to feel less and no one is stopping me from making a commotion.

Consumed by love and it's all coming tragic

Solitary life and my hand stays gripped.

My eyes are open but unable to see.

Been through a lot, I'm still missing and that i can never descry,

Effects are made, but i don't think it's worth it,

Nothing feels okay, everything is turning.

Alone in the light, my eyes can't hardly focus.

Hugging my pillow in my bed feeling hopeless.

I fear the day that when i wake up and don't give a fuck about anything,

and lately I've been sensing i no longer care with all the shit I'm in.

I'm so mad i can't even think straight,

Every goddamn time is wasted.

I wanna look in the mirror and punch myself,

and just feeling my blood dripping through my knuckles.

Curiosity kicks in again i'm screwed,

Can't help myself, i'm easy to pursed,

Tolerating this life i don't care if i'm ruined,

Committing a sin and not sorry for doing this.

~ i always don't know what i'm doing but this time i choose to do what is wrong and just be done with it. i'm so mad at myself but all i can do is to cry. I don't want to ruin my life but i just want to let this stress out of my system. Mama is gone and i'm out here wasting my life drinking and all this bad habits, i know she'll be so mad at me, i just wish i'd be able to hear her scream my name at least. i hate what's happening with me, i killed the old me and i'm regretting everything that I've done lately. i feel so lost and i hope someday someone would find me cause if no one did, i'll be stuck being lost forever.

A Day of Beauty

Feeling confident and free,
the sun is shining over me,
my luck is on it's way,
I'm having a good day.

The butterflies are on my side,
emotions color me inside,
stars light up the sky,
Days keeps getting better every time.

Feeling delightful with life,
everyone cheers me; Alright!
I'm very happy today,
hoping this will never fade.

Glad to be appreciated it gives me ego,
boasting what I have, feeling like a hero,
my smile is presented it adores the world,
every mortal stare they are lost for words.

The scent of flowers are on my hair,
bees are flying everywhere,
don't want this attention to disappear,
therefore I require myself to look like this every year.



*Make up really makes a girl feel extraordinary. We should never judge one person just because of the things we see on the outside. Make up helps us express our feelings and that is not something to be ashamed or bothered off. I don't really use make up but lately I've been wearing one (part of me thinks that 'I should look good so that he'll feel regret that he left me). On our college, this is the time of year that we'll take pictures for our yearbook and yesterday, I just finished having the pictorial for our creative shot (my costume was an Indian one). It was fun, posing and all, maybe it's not so bad that our face may look like a clown, at least you'll be able to entertain the people around you and feel good about yourself as well.

Present People

Nowadays, it's all about the bling's and flings.

no one really care about you really feel,

and through the day, you can't seem to find,

the real reason for your laugh and smile.

What's happening to the people today?

they crave for more lux and endure less pain,

and what a funny thing to say that you're "FINE" while your not

so even for yourself you tell stupid lies.

We now smile to mock our foes

and backstab our friends for no reason suppose,

"Forever and Sorry" are now words without meaning

we know our ways, but where are we really heading?

All of us are such hypocrite,

this is the new way of life and people just go with it,

feeling betray us so  we pretend to be numb,

but the truth is "What are we afraid from?"

*I just lost my phone(I'm not even sure if I misplace it or someone took it from my bag when I was bar hopping with friends). That was my phone of almost 2 years now and it hurts to accept the fact that it's gone. It's funny how easy it is to replace things (such as phones) with new ones, but for me the reason why it's hard to let it go it's because of the memories that came out with that phone and I hate myself for being so sentimental with such thing. I'm one of those 'Present People' I'm referring to, I know most of us are. I just hope that these things will not ruin how great life is for us all.

h.a.p.p.y.

Taking a big step in life,
experiencing how it is to survive,
meeting new people along the way,
looking forward in doing this everyday.

Have you ever imagine what it would be like?
"The Future" sounds terrifying but we'll be alright,
seize the day, keep the faith,
hold your head up high, stand up straight.

Time to face tomorrow's adventure,
through it'll be hard with all this stress and pressure,
surround yourself with happiness,
life is beautiful so smile with confidence.

Spread the joy, laugh out loud,
the sound of it takes away a frown,
appreciate what you have,
guide others who are in need of help.

Travel a lot, explore the world,
discover new things, share what you've heard,
love what you're doing and you'll be okay,
be thankful for GOD and always pray.


*1 semester to go till I graduate. I'm excited and afraid at the same time, I already imagine a lot of things that might happen, but one can never be sure of the future. My perspective in life is very clear and certain. I already plan my life for the next 5 years, some say that you will not enjoy your life if you always plan everything, in my defense I don't plan everything. I wrote this poem because I'm positive that my life after college would be AMAZING and let's not be too pessimistic about things, okay :)

PECULIARITIES

So a new world arises here we attain freedom,
never have to choose from anything sadness is optional,
the sun is your friend along with the beach,
take away all your worries, feel the sand on your feet.

Slide across the rainbow tumble down and smile,
imagine every state is a poodle, hop around a while,
dance with the clouds while the star sing along,
meet different kinds of people and you'll feel belong.

Feeling the wind in my face,
wanna fly like a ninja to an unknown place,
will walk over the water, spreading arms for the rain,
jumping through the mountains, forgetting all of my pain.

Take some risk for today,
grab every opportunity that comes in your way,
create possibilities, live out your life,
color your weakness with a bright light.

Explore the wonders of the universe,
listen to it's sound, understand those little creatures,
howl with the wolf, roar like a bear,
don't let anyone judge you, never be scared.

Follow your instincts, mind your heart,
let your feet lead the way, just walk the path,
at the end of the road you'll feel relief,
that you take that journey without any guilt.


*There are so many things in this world that even the most intelligent man couldn't even answer, which makes life so wonderful. Nobody's perfect and indeed there ain't. I'm this girl that 'sometimes' feels sad (which is normal because we do have feelings) and most of the times 'happy' and when I do, I just can't stop appreciating every-single-bit-of -things around me and with that I share my happiness through my friends and my every loving grandmother. Let us not neglect ourselves for being happy even if there's no reason, just SMILE that's the best gift you can ever give to yourself.